Mingling with the Masses (Intro)

The innate feeling of competition that exists among we more humanish people is, to say the least, strange and compelling. At which point does one make the transition from sloshing around the milk and honey with John Citizen from next door, to smashing the poor fucker’s skull in with a shovel, that one may thrive on the nutrients contained therein? I should like to say that I, having neither smashed in skulls nor gorged myself on human cerebelli (nor, if it comes to that, made a name for myself as a man who is generous with his milk and honey), do not know. Yet I do know that some speck of this terrible urge lies dormant within my chromosomes or DNA or wherever it is that primal things lurk. At some point in my existence, it is certainly possible I shall covet my neighbour’s life. And I think I would not be accused of being terribly confused were I to say that this notion of us all having a brain-eatingly life-affirming competitive spirit is both worrying and re-assuring. Worrying, insofar as John Citizen from next door, by force of nature’s own design, is doubtless making estimates on the size of my noggin and clearing a space in his freezer; re-assuring, insofar as I’ll be damned if I don’t get him first.

E

Passablement, pas assez, pas encore, et puis quoi d'autre qui ne traîne plus, chez moi, sur le sol comme un cafard d'un autre âge, d'une autre élégance, si infime, si caricaturale qu'elle n'attendrit que les yeux lasses et à demi-clos des personnes vouées au péché, telle que cette fille aux ongles peints en rouge.
A la voix ondulente, pleine de gorge, d'une senteur violente, l'intérieur de sa bouche, une grotte aux stalagtites de bave qui avale l'appendice, du haut du gland jusqu'à sa base, une sensation morte, passable, un grand rideau qui se referme sur ce petit théatre abscon.
Ce que je fixe n'est plus qu'une série de points fixés les uns aux autres par des procédés loufoques, extensibles, sans harmonie, un fracas visuel sans brisure, un truc pas si excitant.
On pourrait presque croire à une hallucination si ce n'était ce métronome organique qui frappe à gros bouillons dans les organes à portée de doigts, l'interieur de la cuisse, un soupçon de rythme, un truc minimal, un faible battement, au ralenti, une chute, de l'eau et un peu de sang sur les doigts.

And this?!

And this?

What the fuck is this?

py.vaults.ca/~x/dostport/

Fop song

PULP LYRICS

"The Fear"

This is our Music from A Bachelors Den
- the sound of loneliness turned up to ten.
A horror soundtrack from a stagnant water-bed & it sounds just like this.
This is the sound of someone losing the plot -
making out that they're okay when they're not.
You're gonna like it, but not a lot & the chorus goes like this:

Oh Baby, here comes the fear again.
The end is near again.
A monkey's built a house on your back.
You can't get anyone to come in the sack
& here comes another panic attack.
Oh here we go again.

So now you know the words to our song,
pretty soon you'll all be singing along.
When you're sad, when you're lonely & it all turns out wrong.
When you've got the fear.
& when you're no longer searching for beauty or love -
just some kind of life with the edges taken off.
When you can't even define what it
is that you are frightened of
this song will be here.

Oh Baby, here comes the fear again.
The end is near again.
If you ever get that chimp off your back.
If you ever find the thing that you lack
but you know you're only having a laugh
& here we go again.
Until the end
Until the end

I felt like a glass beaker in the snowy streets of moscow

I really thought as I passed by these incredibly dangerous stairs.

That it won't take much to fall heavily on the corner of a stone, head first and spill your brains all over the place.

So then, I wondered.

What a miracle, people standing, people walking

without falling

going straight from point a to point b

with all the obstacles standing in their paths.

banking trouble

It’s so rare I get to show up a smart guy who’s my friend too, that I jumped at the opportunity from heaven when buddy said he didn’t get out and vote in the election last week.

‘So what’s all this about being so smart then?’ I said to his face.

‘Yeah, damn it,’ he said, ‘I was really aching to get out and get my word in, but geez if the last couple of days haven’t been hazardous enough.’

So I asked him to tell me the deal.

The whole affair hinged on a couple of complete unforeseeables that, added up, fell down into place like sheer stupid luck, unconnected, but by the power of mathematics, wearisome.

‘Happy New Year!’ he said, ‘this is my story.’

First he was sitting around one day, reading a book, probably, and out of the blue the phone rang.

‘Just a fluke of nature,’ he said, ‘and not foreseeable in the least. My mother’s only friend went down with a case of coming undone at the seams and they took her away to the hospital. Poor lady has a twelve year old daughter, and though my ma offered and asked to take care of the girl, the services came and took her away. But she also has a cat and nowhere to put it into, so I took it on, as mother has the fear of animals and viruses. So I got the cat, and you know, the thing is just adorable, but I must admit I know nothing of how to care for animals, the sphere of my knowledges being limited to politics, and I felt obliged to keep it entertained like any old guest. So after they brought it by, I was spending my time rolling around with it on the floor; I went to the store and bought a ball of yarn, and I’ve been rolling around throwing the ball of yarn at it, and basically we’ve been having a grand old time. Despite the wounds on my face and arms, we have bonded famously and I call him little cat face, and it’s great. Eventually I had to go to work and do my thing there though, and poor cat face, as any guest could be expected to, got bored. So when I got home I found he had eaten everything made of material, and scratched the walls up to boot, and I had a long night stitching up my business suits and making the place liveable again.’

‘That’s all interesting and good,’ I said, impatient to be right after all, ‘but I don’t see how it kept you away from the polling booths.’

‘Well,’ he said, ‘seeing as your culture is one inclined to impatience and punch lines I can forgive you, but if you just let me go, I’ll lead you on to the end.’

‘Ok,’ I said, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘A couple of days later another thing happened that was just a complete fluke too, and not an everyday occurrence. While I was snoring in my bed for the night, dreaming of all the slurpees my modest wages bring me after the loan payments have gone through, I found myself awoken by the telephone with another urgent bad call from my mother. This time a robber had cracked in and broken the window by her backdoor, and made haste with her purse. She had no documents and didn’t know how she would recover her peace of mind, or convince other people she was who she said. I managed to calm her down enough to make out her words and promised to stop by and help her talk to the police. I did just that, and said “thank you” to the officer, and was about to leave when my mother asked me to give her the cat for company and to feel protected.

‘“The usual collocation is guard dog, mother,” I said, ‘but if it will help with the tears, I guess you can have him.”

‘So shattered as I was at losing my new companion who understood me so well, I took the cat over to my mother’s and said farewell.

‘I have to admit I was feeling a little down, but I still had all my destroyed furniture to look at and remember him by, and there’s no use getting down every day.

‘Then the coup de grace struck me right off. You know I’m really in love with the modern world, I’m not a student any more, and I see no point in protesting against the new technologies; I love spaceships and TVs and online banking, but I couldn’t get into my account. So I ran in to the bank and asked them what the problem was and they told me they had sealed my account on account of my suspicious activities.

‘“And what’s so suspicious about loving the modern world?!” I said.

‘“Well,” they said, “it’s the way you gave all your money to a stranger by email.”

‘Then they asked me to stop crying, because they would find who had taken it, maybe, and that’s why they had stopped my activities.

‘“But if you had really been itching to close me down, why couldn’t you have done it before they took all the 944 dollars I’d managed to save by pinching pennies together and rubbing dimes? Or let me live my life in peace with the money stashed under my bed, instead of insisting with your buddies in the government that I have to have the money deposited directly or else I’m not a real person?”

‘But unfortunately there aren’t answers to everything, and though the sum may be laughable on big banking streets, it’s gonna take me 14 years to get that much saved again from working all day long at the library, and by night at the bakery.’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘as they say, super, but I’m damned if I can see the connections or how the election is to blame.’

‘Yeah, damn it, what connections are there in life? And nobody here is blaming anyone, except maybe the laws of probability. It’s nothing. It’s only something because last year the lady at the bank with the black hair, you know I love the dark hair, said a document concerning my student loan had been lost and she had promptly given my case over to the agency for delinquent payment makers. And that’s fine, hold on, I’m not going on and on about it, though I might feel entitled to – they never even said, “Mister, hey buddy, we’re terribly sorry,” and I’m by nature inclined to the politeness of the British. No, that’s not the point, and I’m not getting my legs all bent out of shape by it. There’s no use in pointing fingers all day long. It’s just this, if you want your plot line filled in and clear: the random events all met on Election Day. I was walking right up the steps to the polling station, feeling the whole importance of the day, and preparing myself mentally to savour the check mark beside my favorite candidate’s name when mother called again saying the cat was going berserk for lack of tender caresses and cat feed, “and come quick,” she said, “I don’t think I can hold him much longer.” So I had to run to my friend and borrow a couple of bucks for cat food. After that I had to run back into work and explain to the boss how I was using my specially granted voting time caring for cats and he wouldn’t let me go again. He got it into his head that I’m something of a slacker, and truth be told he’s quite justified – nobody here’s pointing any fingers at the boss, it’s just dumb luck. After work I was making my way back towards the polling booths when I remembered I hadn’t eaten since being given the bad news at the bank about my losses, a couple days earlier, and I suddenly felt an unearthly heaviness in my limbs. I looked up at the steps to the polling booths, and felt the quarters in my pocket left over from buying the cat food, and suddenly it was like nothing in life mattered a dime – it was the strangest feeling, and one I’ve experienced only rarely. I have no idea where it came out of, and as I looked up and thought about all things political, I just couldn’t justify the effort up the steps to my hungry legs. At that I turned away, mystified and a little concerned at myself, and full of hope the feeling was fleeting. I stopped in at the supermarket and bought a loaf of the whitest bread I could see and forced it down post haste.’

‘And the feeling,’ I said, ‘what about the feeling? Did it leave you alone after the white bread?’

‘You know, buddy,’ he said, ‘I haven’t had time to pay attention to it, I’ve been preoccupied, as they say, with worrying about getting some cash together before the end of the month to make the loan payments, and if there’s enough left over, maybe the rent. On top of this I’m a little worried lest the money disappear from my account the minute I put it in there, so I can’t say for certain what’s up with the feeling, but I’ll definitely look into it again as soon as it becomes feasible.’

Jeudi - vendredi

A l'air frais

Au beau milieu d’un champ, un radio-cassette accroché au bout d’un poteau hurle du Johnny Hallyday a des poules de Bresse d’appellation d’origine contrôlée. L’atmosphère est très inquiétante surtout qu’un ciel grisâtre enrobe les environs d’une lumière campagnarde très crue qui fige sur l’herbe un ennui sans grâce. Remarquez bien qu’on flatte les gallinacés avec un langage qu’elles comprennent. Donc les poules captent bien ce que chante Johnny et deviennent très agressives quand celui-ci porte sa voix sur les notes gueulées de son répertoire, ainsi au paroxysme de ses prouesses vocales, elles vont dans des attaques gloussantes griffer les cous de leurs congénères.
Pourtant, le dispositif est sensé éloigner les oiseaux migrateurs porteurs de la grippe aviaire, mais comme le fait remarquer l ‘éleveur au bon sens Bourg-En-Bressois :
« Ca éloigne même les renards ! » Seules fans dans cette campagne française, les poules s’agglutineront comme au beau temps des yé-yé autour de ce poteau tapageur jusqu’à 18H00 où elles rentreront, au chaud, pour regarder questions pour un champion sur des écrans géants suspendus aux murs en tôle du poulailler.

Chewie is a Dead-Set Legend

Cockney Accent recquired to read this

(Where is me fuckin' hat ?)

Just stop breathin'

not completely though

you might still need some air

in the middle of a sentence.

Let me say one thing about 'Politic' because I am gonna talk more about that soon, with more energy, more passion, more envy than this special fat cunt over there. When it comes to art, I , me , modern thinker, and I won't apologize for my lack of modesty, I'm a nature masterpiece afterall, My body works fine, look, I can breathe, This man, is political, I chose not to depend on obvious understanding, I mean, If you're not able to put your mind among this shit and look at it as if you were me, so then, back off villain, you'll never understand alterity and that's why you'll die as a super-slave, listening to people talking for you, instead of you, like you're a ghost on the airwaves, your thoughts just as meaningless, don't even look at it, don't even assemble the words in your borrowed mind, you shouldn't even read that darn blog, you, die, my politic, in one word, is going on crusades against you fuckers, bottomless wheels !

Round 1 to the mouse

Beaten by a fricken mouse.

Of course, I forgive myself for the encounter - when a man's hungry, he needs bread. What he doesn't need - indeed, never even begins to suspect - is the possibility that when a mouse is hungry, it also needs bread.

So there I was, happily fishing around in a plastic bag for a suitable chunk, when I felt two itchy little pinpricks in my finger. There was a black thing in the bag - a fricken black thing, moving so fast I could only see it was black and it was a thing.

The body kicked in long before the brain: I began dancing round the kitchen, shrieking and furiously flapping the bag around, desperate to get my hand back in one piece. Clearly some primal instinct, some remnant of my cave-sniffing past, had recalled that fast fricken black things were mortally dangerous. It scrabbled up my arm, bonzaid it's way to the floor, and wriggled under the stove.

I've recently begun considering meself something of a burlily unfuckwithable dude, so it was a bit of a blow to find meself clutching at my heart and squealing like a decidedly unburlily fuckwithable wretch.

Round 1 to the mouse: The traps are primed; the cheese is rich and stanky; there's a reputation at stake here.

Ma politique, tic tac, c'est l'attaque

La politique, en gros, en tres GROS, c'est la guerre.

tjsdf

after waking up this morning, i dashed straight into the bathroom - maybe there was someone in there. but there wasnt. so then i scrambled and dashed into the kitchen - maybe id catch them in there. but i didnt. so i dashed back into the room, and since no one was in there, got dressed and dashed out the door. on my way out the door i started to think about politics - about how everything is political, and how the only reason i was dashing here and there was because of the indoctrination id received - wed all received - as children and as adults, and i dashed down the stairs, hearing a door opening and trying to catch the bastard before he got out.

bonjour buddy

Cet endroit ne devrait exister plus, J'ai été dit, il n'y a aucun endroit autour pour des tigres avec des visages de gorille.
Avant qu'il ait été parfaitement accepté et toléré par des marcheurs, juste comme lui est toléré pour manger les tomates géantes sur un champ de voyage, personne ne s'inquiète.
Je pense qu'il est juste comme ceci maintenant, la chaise, mine, bascule toujours, dans les deux sens, comme l'un conte de fées votre grand'ma ne vous a jamais indiqué.
Vous pourriez ne jamais savoir, juste acceptez cela, nous 'au sujet d'ici, à la fin du temps.
Vous pourriez ne jamais savoir quand il va finir.
Puisque nous ne sommes pas vrais, nous sommes justes comme des tigres avec des visages de singe.

The Importance of Politics

'All writers are vain, selfish and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some deomon whom one can neither resist nor understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that makes a baby squall for attention. And yet it is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one's own personality. Good prose is like a window pane. I cannot say with certainty which of my motives are the strongest, but I know which of them deserve to be followed. And looking back through my work, I see that it is invariably where I lacked a political purpose that I wrote lifeless books and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and humbug generally.'

George Orwell, 'Why I Write', 1946

Les chateaux en Espagne a la Babel Fish (or 'Why I Think Max is Mad')

Currently, in hibernation controlee, acroche after a fashion has the illusion which it still occurs quelquechose here or finally my two eyes to the eyelids terribly weighed down by the incontrolable heat which emane of these large blocks of cast iron, by intermitence, with some giclettes of white frost, corrosive without repis, these large hands degantees, open on tiny plains, those of my territory, my niche. Then for you, I look right in front of, such which is allowed to me to do it, directs, like a horse in his box, simple expressions vehiculees by the trouble of a field of vision retreci and I retranscribe, my vision, single who echappe more like front, worms of the unknown prospects, those which I liked to contemplate when one left me time of them, at the edge of a large road, or of a radiant distance, when I saw myself advancing in the unknown, carrying beautiful a costume in flax, has the shelter of the luminous rays of a star which never disappeared.

I lost my gloves in a viree of more than 72 hours, between stores of sounds and small echoppes has beer, while passing by the stirring up cellars of Red Way, or the international DJ will reconsider gloser musicalement the importance of Kick and of Snare in time reel, while supervising, well evidemment, the some giscettes has the important cosmetic beauty, a farandole of nails chatoyants will come same to type on the plane surface of my understanding. Tic tic tic, to mark of another rate/rhythm surperpose, the minutes which are egrenent in this sand glass or the sand is white, without another color, nor taste, like vodka which me brule bone, which me empeche to capture sleep and of me of to make friend, that I will take between my two large arms as you which sleep on another proeminence, certainly, well emmitoufles, with the heat, ouais, I think that you sleep like me, as I do not think, as I am unable to remain eveille, it is the night and it will never be eteindra either.

Les chateaux en Espagne.

Actuellement, en hibernation controlee, acroche tant bien que mal a l'illusion qu'il se passe encore quelquechose ici ou finalement mes deux yeux aux paupieres terriblement alourdies par l'incontrolable chaleur qui emane de ces gros blocs de fonte, par intermitence, avec quelques giclettes de givre, mordant sans repis, ces grosses mains degantees, s'ouvrent sur des plaines minuscules, celles de mon territoire, de ma niche. Alors pour vous, je regarde droit devant, tel qui m'est permis de le faire, dirige, comme un cheval dans son box, simples expressions vehiculees par l'ennui d'un champ de vision retreci et je retranscris, ma vision, unique qui ne s'echappe plus comme avant, vers des perspectives inconnues, celles que j'aimais contempler quand on m'en laissait le temps, au bord d'une grosse route, ou d'un lointain radieux, quand je me voyais avancer dans l'inconnu, portant beau un costume en lin, a l'abri des rayons lumineux d'un astre qui ne disparaissait jamais.

J'ai perdu mes gants dans une viree de plus de 72 heures, entre magasins de sons et petites echoppes a biere, en passant par les caves remuantes du Red Way, ou l'internationale DJ reviendra gloser musicalement sur l'importance du Kick et du Snare en temps reel, en surveillant, bien evidemment, les quelques giscettes a l'importante beaute cosmetique, une farandole d'ongles chatoyants viendront meme taper sur la surface plane de mon entendement. Tic tic tic, marquer d'un autre rythme surperpose, les minutes qui s'egrenent dans ce sablier ou le sable est blanc, sans autre couleur, ni gout, comme la vodka qui me brule les os, qui m'empeche de capturer le sommeil et de m'en faire une amie, que je prendrai entre mes deux grands bras comme vous qui dormez sur une autre proeminence, certainement, bien emmitoufles, au chaud, ouais, je pense que vous dormez comme moi, comme je ne pense pas, comme je suis incapable de rester eveille, c'est la nuit et elle ne s'eteindra jamais non plus.

Mister G. on a special location, He made it

This place should not exist anymore, I've been told, there's no place around for tigers with gorilla faces.

Before it was perfectly accepted and tolerated by walkers, just like it's tolerated to eat giant tomatoes on a trip field, nobody cares.

I Think it's just like this now, the chair, mine, is still rocking, back and forth, like the one fairy tale your grand'ma never told you.

You might never know, just accept that, we 're here, to the end of time.

You might never know when it's gonna end.

Because we're not real, we're just like tigers with monkey faces.