The revoltingly arrogant reader will probably pretend to be unsurprised that the State Library is the first place to look when seeking wisdom. Were said revoltingly arrogant reader to make such a pretension, said revoltingly arrogant reader would be deservedly wrong, and may take a moment to reflect on the consequences of being revoltingly arrogant. We are all wrong from time to time, and generally it is a tragedy; for one to be deservedly wrong is a damning indictment of one’s character. What the revoltingly arrogant reader has failed to utilise, in this instance, is wisdom; specifically, the wisdom to know that revoltingly arrogant readers should cease being revoltingly arrogant, and keep their foolish pretensions to themselves. Clearly, if the reflections I’ve delightfully laid out below demonstrate anything, it’s that the fount of wisdom springs from a cup of Earl Grey. Perchance any tea will do, but personally I should not like to test this theory – when working with potent forces like Wisdom, it is best, I think we can all agree, not to fuck around. Stick with Earl Grey. The very name conjures images of a portly and silvering nobleman, perching on a windowsill with plum pie, goodwill, and lashings of damned sagacity.
I should also like to add, in all humility, that it can scarcely be a coincidence that Earl Grey is my tea of choice. It is not for nothing that I may quite possibly be Wisdom Incarnate.