пятница, января 13, 2006

my childhood and guy lafleur

i remember being a lost child on the st. laurence seaway, swimming around, and bragging around, like a lost popsicle stick on an emtpy highway. usually i was wearing a red away guy lafleur jersey - my father always said that guy lafleur was the only real hockey player for women to love - and i would brag around in front of the women, hoping they would see me and think that i - was in fact guy. it was many years before they did. it was many very lonely st. laurence years. then there were the lonely laval years, and the lonely years by les chutes de montmorency. they were the worst, because they were very wet and lonely.
but before my life could end, possibly right at the one day when i was thinking to myself - guillaume, you are very wet and lonely, maybe it is time to be finished with all of this wet loneliness, eh? - yes, right about this time, it happened! i was standing on the bridge over les chutes, and looking down, letting the gravity and seriousness pull me in - you know, dostoyevsky said often enough it is simply the gravity that makes a man jump - when a woman with very dark hair said, peeping her little eyes over my shoulder: what are you looking at guy? i jumped so far into the air over the chutes i thought i would be joining dostoyevsky in space, but eventually i came down, and i was so happy, i was still wearing my red jersey, though the years had left it almost brown and indistinguishable; nonetheless i was so happy that at last the woman had loved me for being guy, but i could not lie to her if she was going to be mine for ever to love. so i looked at her and asked: why is it madamoiselle that you think i am guy lafleur, i am not guy lafleur, i am guillaume bonneau. she looked back at me and said: i did not think you were guy lafleur, though you are also bald of hair, i simply love you and want to swim with in the chutes.
it was a very difficult chidlhood.

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